Note: This writing was started on June 6th, originally under the title Grandchildren. The following day, Silas Fore’s (grandson of some of our dearest friends) tragic death took place before I was able to publish it. Wanting to be sensitive to the families loss, I postponed publishing. Sadly, another of my best friends has lost a grandchild. Accordingly, I have revised part of this writing. In the midst of what feels like unending grief, I hope what follows will be a blessing and encouragement.
6 Grandchildren are the crown of the aged,
and the glory of children is their fathers. – Proverbs 17:6
Morning Light
This morning just before 2:00 a.m. I was awakened by a bright light. This light wasn’t due to a Sunday morning visitation of an angel, nor was it an extra terrestrial visitor, but rather my youngest daughter (Rachel) letting myself and her mother know that it was time. She didn’t have to explain in any further detail what time she was referring to. Our eldest daughter Courtney was a couple of weeks past her due date for her fifth child.
It was time!
My wife got ready as quickly as you can when still half asleep, and along with Rachel, headed for Courtney’s house to become part of the delivery “team” for the home birth. While they provided moral support for Courtney, I tried to fall back to sleep (after offering up some “safe delivery” prayers), all the while anticipating that special phone call.
Just before 5:00 a.m. the phone call came. Rachel informed me Courtney had given birth to another grandson. Now it was time for me to wake up my son Caleb and then make our quick journey to see God’s latest blessing for our family. A grandparent can’t have too many “crowns”!!
Who’s Crying Now?
When I walked into the front door of my daughter’s house, I knew it was going to be emotionally charged. But I didn’t know how quickly I was going to be hit. For as soon as I stepped into the house, I was greeted by the cry of my newborn grandson coming from upstairs. The contrast to our grandson Isaiah’s stillbirth two months earlier could not have been any greater. I was never so happy to hear a baby cry. In fact, I was completely overcome with emotion and there was nothing I could do to hide it.
Along with Caleb, I immediately ascended the steps and entered the overcrowded (and overheated) bedroom to behold grandchild number six (whose name was still unknown to me). After a few moments of unbearable anticipation, my grandson was handed to me… and I melted. The tears were unstoppable. I felt like I was living out Jeremiah 31:15 which refers to Rachel weeping for her children. I was crying not only because of the joy of the life in my arms, but also because of the void in my heart. The loss of baby Isaiah two months prior was still so raw.
In fact, the loss of Isaiah made the life of our new grandson both more “painful” and more joyful at the same time. For everyone in the room, we were reminded of the special blessing that was cut short, as well as just how special life is and how important it is to never take it for granted. I pray my family never will.
A Good Name
“A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches..” – Proverbs 22:1a
When it was time to announce our new grandson’s name, there was another wave of emotions. In honor of his deceased cousin, Isaiah Clark, and Isaiah’s father, Daniel, the good name that was chosen is Daniel Clark Byrum. Needless to say, we were all humbled by the gesture. Especially “big” Daniel.
While nobody is expecting baby Daniel to “replace” his cousin Isaiah, it is hard not to look at him and ask “what if?”. The plans and dreams our family had for Daniel and his “twin” cousin were hard to lay to rest. Painfully so.
While those plans and dreams will never come to fruition, it is comforting to know that there is a sense in which Daniel will carry on Isaiah’s legacy (to a degree) by sharing part of his name. As a grandfather, I am thankful for the good name that was chosen, and as a father, I am thankful for the love and respect that prompted it. To me this is more precious than great riches.
Crowns
As any “aged” person could testify, it is hard to put into words the great blessing that grandchildren are. As Timothy Keller says; “Grandchildren open a room in your heart that could not be unlocked by anyone else.” Although our energy has diminished since raising our own children, hopefully we have grown in wisdom and appreciation for what our grandchildren represent. Psalm 127 reminds us that our children are a blessing from God. How much more so our grandchildren.
We are all familiar with the trials of Job, but we should not miss how his “story” ends. Yes, God doubled his possessions (livestock) and gave him more children, but there is more.
16 And after this Job lived 140 years, and saw his sons, and his sons’ sons, four generations. 17 And Job died, an old man, and full of days. – Job 42:16-17
Job was blessed not simply with wealth and length of life, but with the blessing of being able to see and invest in four generations of his offspring. Is it any wonder God’s Word says his life was “full” of days?
Closed Rooms
If our grandchildren can open a room to our hearts that nobody else can, what does that imply about the painful loss of our grandchildren? Unfortunately, too many of my dear friends are experiencing the answer to that question at this moment. I have written extensively about that pain the last couple of months since the death of Baby Isaiah, so I don’t want to belabor the point. However, I do want to be sensitive to what my dear friends are going through and encourage you to lift them up in prayer.
The Fore, Kresge, Kissling, and Travis families are experiencing the reality of broken hearts. Hearts that now have rooms “permanently” closed (from an earthly perspective). The loss of Silas and Josie will forever change who they are. The special rooms that only these grandchildren could open will now be closed until they are reunited with them in Heaven.
Until that day comes, may the Lord find us faithful in showering them with our love and prayers. We can never replace their loss, but we can remind them that in reality, their grandchildren are not lost, but rather promoted. And they will be awaiting their beloved families with open arms. After all, God did not double Job’s ten children that were killed with twenty (like He doubled his livestock), but rather blessed Job with ten more children. Although Job’s eyes couldn’t perceive it, because of their eternal nature, his “original” children were more alive than his second set. May we never forget to look at life with an eternal perspective.
Holding Crowns
I highly doubt that I will live to be 140 years old like Job. Likewise, I don’t imagine I will have the privilege of seeing four generations of my offspring. But I am thankful for the blessings God has granted me in the form of my children and grandchildren. Even before the life changing tragedies of the last few months, I have believed that this side of Heaven, there were few things that could compare with holding a newborn child. As mentioned above, now the joy is even sweeter.
In a round about way, I guess what I am trying to communicate is that I don’t want us to miss the blessing of what we have because of the pain of what we have lost, albeit temporarily. As Job reminds us, we brought nothing into this world and will take nothing out when we die. It is God who gives us breath in the first place. It is God who numbers our days. And it is God who blesses us with children and grandchildren.
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” – Job 1:21
The question is, what are we going to do with what He has blessed us with? When the writer of Proverbs says that our grandchildren are a crown, he is not appealing to our fleshly pride, but instead is referring to the blessing of seeing our grandchildren carrying on our Christian legacy. He is referring to godly children following the way of wisdom instead of the way of folly.
Casting Crowns
“Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty,
who was and is and is to come!”
9 And whenever the living creatures give glory and honor and thanks to him who is seated on the throne, who lives forever and ever, 10 the twenty-four elders fall down before him who is seated on the throne and worship him who lives forever and ever. They cast their crowns before the throne, saying,
11 “Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.” – Revelation 4:8-11
As we have seen, children and grandchildren are a blessing from God. But ultimately, they are not ours, but His. Ours is the privilege of stewardship for a season, whether it be long or short. While we can’t control the length of the season, we can “redeem” the time that we have. May we make the best our time pointing them to Christ and passing along our Christian faith.
Some day, we will join the twenty four elders at the foot of Heaven’t throne. There, I believe we will follow their example and we too will cast our crowns at our Savior’s feet in adoration and worship. Every reward we receive for faithful service will be given back to our Lord out of gratitude for what He has done for us.
At the same time we will be reunited with our deceased grandchildren in the presence of our Savior who wore a crown of thorns for us. He will wipe away our tears and He will make our joy complete. And thankfully, the one who has given us a new heart will make them “whole” again. Most importantly, along with our children and grandchildren, we will sing with the elders to the One who has blessed us beyond comprehension;
11 “Worthy are you, our Lord and God,
to receive glory and honor and power,
for you created all things,
and by your will they existed and were created.”
Congratulations
Soon Julia will deliver her third child. And when she does we will mourn with the families because she is stillborn. But that temporary mourning will give way to rejoicing. In fact, we will forever rejoice with them in the eternal life that is Josie Rae Kissling. Created by God in His image and now safely in His presence!!
In advance, I want to say congratulations to Jake and Julia for the blessing that God has given them in Baby Josie, and congratulations to the the grandparents who have been blessed with another crown. Some day, perhaps soon, we will realize just how blessed we truly are.