23 Then the man said,
“This at last is bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
because she was taken out of Man.”
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:23-24
Confusion
Is there anything more important than knowing God’s plans for mankind? What is more gratifying than living according to His will? How many heartaches might we be spared if we would only take Him at His Word? When Satan entered the Garden his strategy was simple; get Adam and Eve to doubt the authority and integrity of God’s Word.
“Did God actually say…?” – Genesis 3:1
Look at the fruit of confusion that has grown from the seed of doubt Satan cast in Eden. God created man and woman, two distinct sexes, Satan has given us gender dysphoria. God instituted marriage between one man and one woman, Satan has given us the oxymoron of same sex marriage and the consequences of adultery. What God created as a shameless relationship (Gen 2:25), Satan transformed into one polluted with lust. As a result, the woman God intended to be the crown of man would too often become the object of his passions, degraded and trampled under his feet.
At Last
Our only cure for confusion is the inerrant Word of God. Certainly, we need to get back to God’s design for His original institution; Marriage.
Before God created Eve He put Adam into a deep sleep and removed one of his ribs. From Adam’s rib God then fashioned Eve. God did not consult with Adam when He fashioned Eve. He did not need Adam’s input or interference. God knew Adam’s need. It is the need of humanity.
When Adam woke from his Divinely induced slumber God, perhaps like a father walking his daughter down the aisle, brought Eve to him. Adam, the expectant groom, immediately recognized the gift that God had given him. Here was one who was “bone of his bones and flesh of his flesh”. One whose existence originated from his own side. The only one who could meet his need.
At last.
Incomplete
Before Eve was created, God “paraded” the animals and birds before Adam in the Garden and Adam dutifully named them. But as each of these special creations of God passed before his eyes one thing was apparent; not one among them would make a suitable helper for Adam.
One who would make him complete.
When God created the earth He wasn’t content to stop with a planet marked by dry land, seas and sky. Not at all. By God’s design these phenomenon needed something else to make them complete.
What would the heavens be like if God had not hung the luminaries to light them or birds to grace them with flight? Can you imagine seas without fish or any other form of aquatic life? How about the earth without plants, animals or mankind?
Thankfully our Creator God is also the ultimate “Completer”.
Therefore
If any man ever recognized beauty, it was Adam. When he saw the whales and the dolphins grace the seas or the eagles and hawks grace the skies, he did so through eyes untarnished by sin and in an environment unblemished by pollution.
How brightly did the stars shine in the night sky? How vibrant were the colors and fragrant the scents of the flowers and trees of Eden? How clear was the sound of the birds singing in the skies? As stimulating as these things must have been to his senses, without Eve to share them with their splendor would have been dampened.
Before Eve, Creation only served as a reminder of what Adam was lacking, hence touching a cord in his soul magnifying his solitude. A void he must have felt deeply, and one which God in His mercy would soon rectify.
18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18
Adam’s solitude was Divinely pronounced as “not good”, therefore, God’s solution was a helper fit for him. The verb form for helper (ezer) is (azar) which means to “save from danger” or “deliver from death”. Hence Eve was created from the side of Adam to “save” him from his solitude.
Upon seeing Eve for the first time, Adam may have recognized the significance of her origin, but it was God who gave us the reason and guidelines for marriage.
Therefore…
Holding Fast
In my last two writings I have discussed the difficulty in watching our children leave the home and our protection when they marry. But this only sets the backdrop for the significance of God’s design. Regardless of how strong the family bonds, men and women (by inference) are called to leave one loyalty and begin a new one. Verbs often used in the Old Testament to signify the breaking of one covenant and the commencing of a new.
As dearly as we love our children we must let them go and encourage them to hold fast to their spouses. Although it is often a delicate balance, we must be available for them without interfering in their lives. Their primary loyalty is no longer with their parents, siblings, or even children when they come along, but with their spouse.
A man cannot hold fast to his wife if he is still clinging to his parents. A wife cannot hold fast to her husband if her parents are still “holding” onto her.
Adam and Eve had no earthly parents to leave yet God laid down the mandate, “a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife”.
God’s design in marriage is for a man and a woman to become one flesh. He will take care of the “one flesh” but the man and woman are responsible for the “leaving” and “holding fast”.
One Flesh
One man, even in a healthy God fearing home, is not one flesh. The same can be said of a woman. But by God’s heavenly arithmetic, one man and one woman can become one flesh. Only then is each of them complete.
By God’s design, when two become one flesh solitude becomes solidarity.
But this “one flesh” isn’t the result of human work, but God’s grace. This divine union is at the heart of what marriage is. It is a union in which two selfish people learn to die to self and become selfless and two sinners learn to love their spouse more than self.
When two become one “mine” becomes “ours” and “I” becomes “us”. There is no longer a separate accounting in finances or an individualistic approach or attitude at any other level, whether physical, emotional or spiritual.
We must never take lightly the work of God. He is the Creator of man and woman. Marriage is His design. Making one man and one woman “one flesh” is His divine work. Hence His disdain for and warning about divorce.
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” – Matthew 19:6
One Objective
Marriage between one man and one woman, as God ordained it, is a beautiful thing. But as special as this institution is, it is but a reflection or copy of the true marriage, that between Christ and His Bride the Church (Eph. 5:32). A marriage based on Christ’s covenant commitment!
Just as a man shall leave his parents and hold fast to his wife, Christ left His Heavenly Father to become a man to redeem His Bride.
Much like Adam needed to be “saved” from his solitude, we needed to be saved from our sin. Much like Eve was “birthed” from Adam’s side, Christ’s Bride, the Church, is given life from the blood that flowed from His pierced side.
Why would Christ pay such a price to redeem His Bride? Why should a man and a woman leave their fathers and mothers to become one flesh? Ultimately, for the glory of God.
As two become one flesh with Christ as the center of their marriage, the Father is glorified as His will is carried out and the reality of the Gospel message is displayed before a confused world. A world that is dying to see what a covenant commitment truly looks like.
“I do…till death do us part”.
Two individuals becoming one flesh with one objective may be a profound mystery, but the joy it can result in is undeniable.
If only we would take God at His Word and keep ours.
Hold Fast. Forever.
