Songs In The Night

²⁴ Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:2

Yesterdays

It seems like just yesterday that I was helping the mid-wife deliver my second child, but in actuality, yesterday I walked my second child down the aisle to give her away in marriage.

Can it really be possible?

Wasn’t it just yesterday I held my little girl in my arms and thanked God for answered prayers after struggling through years of infertility?  Wasn’t it just yesterday she was running through the back yard shirtless like her boy cousins saying “I a boy, I a boy”?  Wasn’t it just yesterday she was shooting baskets in the driveway?  Wasn’t it just yesterday she asked me to play ping-pong?  Wasn’t it just yesterday I found out she met this guy?

Those yesterdays are gone.

Yesterday her and that guy left their fathers and mothers to become one flesh.

Today

Today we are picking up the pieces.  Literally.  The wedding tent is still in the yard and it has a lot of company.  It will take some time to put things back in their proper places but we will have a lot of help.

But organizing the objects in the yard is the easy task.  It is wrestling with the memories of the yesterdays that is so difficult.

How do you pour so much love and time and energy into your children over the course of years and then adjust to having them “step out” of your life in just one moment?  That is what today brings.  And it is difficult.  Today is one of those days we all encounter that we want to trade for just one more yesterday.

But yesterday has passed us all by.

Second Guessing

Yesterday morning I literally woke up in a cold sweat.  Rebekah (Rose to me), was up in her room, presumably sleeping, for the last time.  In hours she would become the wife of a Godly man (Daniel).  But as much as we had prayed and prepared for this day, it was the past that was haunting me.  I began to have serious concerns that I had failed Rebekah (and my other children).

Life has a way of keeping us so busy with the trivial.  It is so easy to allow the things of the world to absorb our attention and time.  We go from putting out one fire to another and then telling ourselves we need to rest in between.  All the while life, real life, is passing us by.

The reality of having Rebekah leaving our home and my protection was motivation for a reality check.

God answered our prayers for children, but what kind of steward of them am I?  After all, they are His children and I will have to give account for the time He allowed me to have them.  Hence the cold sweat.

Parenting

The world places so much emphasis on happiness.  So often I hear parents talk about wanting their children to be happy.  But if that is all we want for our children we are deceived.  After all, do we really know what happiness is?  It seems like we have equated happiness with possession of things.  When a baby cries we give him something to divert his attention.  When a child throws a fit we bribe him with things.  When our teenagers seem despondent we continue the pattern by seeking “something” to take away their sadness.  But are “things” what our children really want?  It certainly isn’t what they need.

I am preaching to myself.

Not being able to sleep and not wanting to wake Rebekah, I decided to send her an e-mail. I certainly didn’t want to upset her on her special day, but I wanted to accomplish two things.  I wanted to apologize for any shortcomings in my role as a father to her; and more importantly, I wanted her to know as she was leaving me to “cleave” to another man, that I love her as deeply as any man can possibly love his child.

Fathers and mothers, that is what are children need.

Dancing

Life has a funny way of surprising us.  I wrote the e-mail to Rebekah in the early morning hoping it would encourage her for the day.  As I read her response a few hours later I couldn’t help but cry.  Although my purpose was to encourage her, it was I that was encouraged.  She assured me that since the day she was born she knew she had my love and support.  Thank God.

Parents, redeem the time.  Don’t worry about trivial things.  Invest yourselves in your children.  Instruct them in the Word of God.  Recognize that the “happiness” that the world offers is fleeting, but the joy that God offers is eternal.  Assure them of God’s love and shower them with yours.

Having our children leave us is painful.  But it is part or God’s design.  The pain is only a consequence of love.  But as painful as the consequences of love are, the rewards are so much better.  Before Rebekah left the wedding I was able to have one dance with her.  We danced to the song Cinderella by Steven Curtis Chapman that summarizes so well the importance investing time into our children.

Go dance with your child.  The clock will strike midnight sooner than you think.

Cinderella