Tag: Death

The Brokenhearted

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17 The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them;
    he delivers them from all their troubles.
18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. – Psalm 34:17-18

Brokenhearted

As Moses approached the burning bush, God stopped him from getting too near. Moses could only get so close to the presence of God or he may have been consumed by His holiness as represented by the fire. To the contrary, Moses was commanded to stop in his tracks and remove his sandals as the ground he was treading was deemed holy ground (Ex 3:5). Intimidated by the presence of God, Moses could only hide his face as God spoke to him from the burning bush.

As Joshua and the Israelites were approaching Jericho, Joshua encountered a man with a drawn sword in his path. Confused by his presence, Joshua enquired if the man was a friend or foe, to which this mysterious man replied neither. Instead, he identified himself as commander of the Lord’s army. In reverence, Joshua could only fall facedown on the ground and humble himself before this man. What message did the commander of the Lord’s army have for Joshua? Joshua was to take off his sandals for he was on holy ground.

A couple of nights ago, I was standing on “holy” ground. No, I wasn’t in the presence of a burning bush on Mount Horeb. Nor was I on the outskirts of Jericho in the presence of the commander of the Lord’s army. Instead, I was in the midst of the brokenhearted. A small gathering of God’s children who have shared a common experience; the death of a child or grandchild.

Closeness

To clarify, we did not gather Friday evening to lick our wounds. Nor did we gather for what some might call group therapy. Our objective was simple; to worship our Savior in song and testimony and to intercede for our friends Jake and Julia in the midst of their trial. In other words, we did what David encourages us to do (by example) in the first three verses of Psalm 34.

1 I will extol the Lord at all times;
    his praise will always be on my lips.
2 I will glory in the Lord;
    let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
3 Glorify the Lord with me;
    let us exalt his name together. – Psalm 34:1-3

To do so in the midst of such extreme grief is difficult. How do you sing when death has kicked you in the stomach and taken away your breath? How do you praise the lord with your lips when your heart is full of grief, anger, and fear? It wasn’t easy, but we did it. And all I can say is that I am not sure there is such sweet fellowship on this side of Heaven as there is among the brokenhearted. There is nothing like standing on Holy ground in humility. And there is nothing like death to humble us. Thankfully, God often rewards such humility with His “closeness”.

Humility

The prophet Micah asks us what the Lord requires of us. If we didn’t know the text, I wonder how many of us would be able to answer the question “correctly”. Notice what Micah suggests, before he gives the “correct” answer.

6 “With what shall I come before the Lord,
    and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
    with calves a year old?
7 Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams,
    with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
    the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?”
8 He has told you, O man, what is good;
    and what does the Lord require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
    and to walk humbly with your God? – Micah 6:6-8

We want to impress God with our sacrifices. God wants us! Keep your calves and your rams and even your firstborn. What do these mean to God if he doesn’t have you? He wants us to walk humbly with Him on a daily basis. If we are walking humbly with God we will love kindness and do justice, but it all begins with humility.

Crying Out

Why is humility so rare? Why do we avoid being transparent? Are we afraid to be vulnerable? Why are we all so good at play acting? None of us has it all together, so why do we pretend we do? God wants us to walk humbly with Him, but we want to be independent and autonomous. We want to do what we want, when we want, how we want!! And when we get it wrong we still have the audacity to blame others.

God knows our struggle with pride, hence this famous passage.

2 So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, 2 complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. – Philippians 2:1-8

A big step in the right direction in our walk of humility with God is to count others as more significant than ourselves and to look to the interest of others. That is what the brokenhearted did Friday night. We met to worship our Heavenly Father not only in song, but as we cried out to Him on behalf of Jake and Julia. The dear parents of Baby Josie whose death we have been grieving.

Crushed Spirits

Friday night was definitely a special night. The emotions were so raw. The prayers were so desperate. Transparency permeated everything that was said and done the entire evening. It was emotionally draining, but it was so beautiful. If only we could worship like that more regularly!!

Yet hearts are still broken, and spirits are still crushed.

Julia is still carrying Josie in her womb. Bittersweet days lie ahead. There are still a lot of unknowns to be answered. The tears come and go and the emotions still swing like a pendulum. In the midst of the uncertainties, the families still need all the love, encouragement, and prayer support they can get.

Despite the broken hearts, crushed spirits, and uncertainties, I am thankful for what we do know:

When the righteous cry out the Lord hears them and delivers them from their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in Spirit.

Hope

Though He was in the form of God, Jesus emptied Himself by taking the form of a servant. Taking on flesh and blood, He further humbled Himself by dying on the cross in our place. Because of His death and resurrection, we can get “close” to God as we are now clothed with Christ’s righteousness. If nothing else, the death of Christ on our behalf should be enough to keep us humble. As we contemplate it and appropriate it, we are “standing” on holy ground.

Death may have a way of breaking our hearts and crushing our spirits, but the death of Christ puts them into perspective. In fact, it is only because of the death of Christ that we can have hope in the midst of such grief and brokenness. When death, or any other trial or tragedy, takes away your breath, I challenge you to lift your eyes to Heaven and exalt His name.

When you do so, come to Him with empty hands and lay down your mask. Admit your total unworthiness and futile weakness. Like the widow who donated her two mites, admit He owns everything you have and you are only a steward. And like the tax collector of Jesus’ parable, admit your unworthiness to stand in His presence without His grace.

It has been a difficult week. The present has certainly dug up the past. But I hope I never forget the beauty of last Friday night, because I am convinced it was a foretaste of the future.

May life’s trials remind us of the importance of walking humbly every day with our Heavenly Father. No time like the present to prepare for the future.

Thanks for the reminder Baby Josie.

Conquering Love

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35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,

“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”

37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:35-39

Tribulation

Just when you think there are no more tears in the well, another tragedy strikes. Just three months removed from the death of Baby Isaiah, another baby has passed in the womb. Another young couple and their families are devestated.

Concerns that arose because of an extended period of time without feeling movement were followed by ultrasounds that confirmed the fears. No heartbeat.

How could this happen? Again? Whereas Isaiah was eight months gestation, this little girl (Josie) was three days overdue. And like Isiah, every indication was that the she was a healthy baby. So what went wrong? This isn’t supposed to happen to a child that is carried full term. At least that is what we expect. But death has a way of dashing our hopes and altering our expectations.

Distress

Instead of celebrating the birth of a newborn, we had a gathering a few nights ago to pray for the grieving couple and their families. Anticipated joy has been turned into mourning. As we lifted our intercessory prayers to Heaven, the room was full of a lot of tears and sniffles. For many in the room, death has become all too familiar.

In between the tragedies of the two stillborn babies, was the tragedy of the death of a vibrant ten year old boy (Silas) to a farming accident. Everyone in the room that night was touched by each of the three recent deaths to varying degrees. For most of us, it has felt as though we have been blindsided by one tragedy after another before we have had a chance to recover from the previous.

As I scanned the room that night, I couldn’t help but think about the impact death has had on the group. One young man who has buried a brother was sitting next to a young couple who has buried a son who was sitting next to a young girl who has buried a sister, who was sitting next to a couple who just buried a nephew (the aforementioned ten year old), who was sitting next to my daughter who just buried her firstborn…which only gets us halfway around the room.

Sadly, most of these people have not yet made it out of their twenties, and already death has become a familiar visitor.

These Things

Life is full of grief. You know that as well as I do. As Christians, we are not immune from the unpleasantries that Paul listed in Romans chapter eight. Things like tribulations, distress, persecution, etc. will be part and parcel our daily existence as long as we tread earth’s soil. In fact, some of them are peculiar to Christians. But they don’t get the final word.

The day after the confirmation of the ultrasound, we had the blessing of spending a brief time with the grieving family. As emotional as it was, it was an honor to hug them and express our love and concern. And before we parted, we had a solemn time of prayer. Prayer can be difficult when life is full of grief, but it is our connection with reality. When “these things” overwhelm us, it is time for a proper perspective.

A perspective that Paul gives us in Romans chapter eight.

Inseparable

As I was contemplating the statistical improbabilities of the past events, wading through the emotions and trying to keep everything in a spiritual perspective, I read these words that our Heavenly Father inspired Paul to write to the Romans. While the list of things that often seem to roll upon us like waves on a shore may seem overwhelming, none of them is more powerful than the love of God. More specifically, the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The love of God sent His only begotten Son to take on flesh and blood and die on the brutal Roman cross for our sins. The love of Christ made Him obedient to the Father’s will in setting His face towards Jerusalem and the cross, knowing He would have to drink the cup of God’s wrath to it’s horrible dregs.

This is the love that the Trinity has for God’s children, and nothing can separate us from it. This is the love that makes us more than conquerors. Even over death.

Ultra Conquerors

As we sat around the room in our prayer meeting, I don’t believe any of us felt like conquerors. But despite our feelings, the Truth is that is what we are. In fact, we are more than conquerors.

Because death is so tangible and overwhelming I asked myself how this could be. And then I reflected on more of Paul’s writings in this same chapter of Romans.

8 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…. 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him….26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Take to heart what God is saying in these verses. His love not only sent His Son to the cross on our behalf, it also chose us before the foundation of the world and will safely keep us in His hand until we are glorified. In fact, it is so certain that it is already referred to in the past tense!! In this entire chain, from calling to glorification, it is God who is acting, and He will bring to completion what He has started (Phil. 1:6). As Paul wrote, it is according to His purpose (v. 28).

Conquering Love

As I left the prayer meeting that night, I couldn’t help notice the irony. We were asked to join the “young” persons Bible Study group for this particular evening to join in prayer for a grieving family coping with the death of a child, yet it wasn’t death that brought us together, it was love. Love for the grieving family, love for the young people in the Bible study group, love for the sanctity of human life, and love for our Savior. And it is just a glimpse of how we can be certain we are more than conquerors.

19 We love because he first loved us. – 1 John 4:19

Baby Jedidiah, Baby Isaiah, young Silas, and now Baby Josie are all in Heaven. Life’s trials will no longer reach the “shore” they now stand upon. They are safely embraced in the scarred hands of Jesus. And so are we. Death may have reared it ugly head once again, and it will continue to do so, but it will never conquer the love of God in Christ.

Our loved ones in Christ who have gone home before us may be (and they are) enjoying more of the fruits of their salvation than we can, but they are no more secure than those of us still treading earths turbulent waters.

God loves us. He has a purpose for us. He has guaranteed it ends in glorification. We don’t know when He will choose to call us Home, but we know that His timing is perfect. The more we remember that this world is not our home and that because of God’s love glory awaits us, the more we will “feel” like conquerors.

May the Truth of God’s love cause our faith to grow, even in the face of death!! After all, death doesn’t get the final word. Conquering love does!!!

Reminders

Saints by the power of God are kept, Till the salvation come: We walk by faith as strangers here, Till Christ shall call us home. (Isaac Watts)

I grasp Thy strength, make it mine own, My heart with peace is blest: I lose my hold, and then comes down Darkness, and cold unrest. Let me no more my comfort draw From my frail hold of thee; In this alone rejoice with awe – Thy mighty grasp of me. (John Shairp)

Since all that I meet Shall work for my good, The bitter is sweet, The medicine food; Though painful at present, ‘Twill cease before long; And then, O how pleasant The conqueror’s song! (John Newton)

New Things

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18 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing! – Isaiah 43:18-19a

Letters

Sometimes it is not so easy to forget the former things. In fact, it often seems downright impossible not to dwell on the past. Can we really push past memories into a vault and seal them in? Our pasts are filled with so many highs and lows that not only trigger emotional responses, but at a deeper level they greatly shape our character. How can they not?

A few weeks ago, our family experienced one of those dramatic life experiences that has dominated our thoughts and emotions. The loss of a loved one certainly has a way of dominating every aspect of your life for a season. Accordingly, the loss of baby Isaiah is something that we will think about and dwell on for a long time to come. In fact, we will never forget him.

For many of us, our memories will include the letters that Isaiah’s parents Daniel and Rebekah wrote to their beloved son. Letters that were shared at his graveside service. As I have contemplated these letters, I have wondered how a letter from Isaiah might read. Perhaps it might read something like this.

Mommy and Daddy,

Thank you for your love. Every moment of my awareness I felt it. From inside the womb I heard it spoken. The excitement in your voices when you first learned I was here was unmistakable. Every child wants to be wanted. Every child needs to be loved. Even before you could “feel” me, I could feel your love. I am sure it was contagious. Selfless love always is.

Thank you mommy for carrying me. You and daddy know that I am a gift from God. Wonderfully knit by Him in your womb, and ordained before the foundation of the world. I never was a mass of tissue. Nor could I ever be confused for anything as selfish as merely a “choice”. I will forever be your firstborn. Uniquely fashioned with the DNA of mommy and daddy. But more importantly, I was created in the image of My Heavenly Father.

Mommy, I know you miss feeling my kicks. Daddy, I know you miss feeling them as well, although they were less of an “inconvenience” to you. Even though it only lasted thirty-six weeks, what a special bonding time we had. You took me a lot of places, and “fed” me a lot of good foods. More importantly, you shared your excitement for me with so many family members and friends. There was no mistaking the thrill of expectation as I heard your conversations. Thank you for the experiences we shared together.

Thank you daddy for praying for me. As my protector, there is nothing more important you could have done for me than to pray for me. The fervency of your prayers was just another reminder of the depth of your love for me. I am proud to call you daddy.

Thank you also for providing for me. I know how hard each of you works to make sure the house is a home. Your preparations did not go unnoticed. I especially love the nursery. It is laid out so nice. The room is so “warm” and inviting with so much attention to detail. It is a beautiful reflection of my awesome parents. I have a lot of fond memories of the time mommy and I spent in there.

Mommy, you not only carried me well, but you delivered me well. You said that God had given you a task to complete. Thank you for obeying Him. I know how difficult it was to go through the long hours of pain, knowing that your effort would not be rewarded by my cry. But because of your love for me and the family, and most importantly your love for your Father, you endured the trial. In doing so you blessed me with the privilege of meeting a number of people I would not have otherwise been introduced to.

Once again, love ruled the day. Thank you.

Mommy and daddy, although things did not go the way you hoped, dreamed, or even planned, you showed everyone your true character. You loved on me and showed me off in a way every child dreams of. Your embraces and kisses spoke volumes of the loving people that you are. I can’t put into words how good it felt to be held by each of you.

Unfortunately, the time came when you had to let me go. So it always is with those we love. A last embrace is always so difficult. We always wish for one more moment. But our time together on this earth was never meant to last forever.

When you let me go, you also said goodbye to so many hopes and dreams. Just like me, I know they are hard to let go of. All too often, our hopes and dreams exceed reality.

I will never sleep in the new nursery. Nor will I will ever hold the stuffed giraffe. Daddy will never play me the children’s records he bought, nor will I ever hear you read the books you stocked my “library” with. I will never swing in the backyard or play with my cousins. There are so many “new” things you wanted to share with me and forgetting them seems impossible.

But heed the advice of my namesake:

18 “Forget the former things;
    do not dwell on the past.
19 See, I am doing a new thing! – Isaiah 43:18-19a

Mommy and daddy, just as death has been swallowed up in victory, the pain of our past is put into perspective by the promises of our Father. Promises not just for the future, but for the present. Promises sealed with a cruel cross and an empty tomb.

Keeping our eyes on God enables us to see things from an eternal perspective, which is what we always need to do. Especially when we are weighed down by the memories of past pains and trials, and saddened by buried dreams. Just as every earthly joy will be tempered with a memory of me, I hope that every earthly sorrow will be buoyed by eternal hope.

Here in heaven, everything is new, and always will be. There are no moths, nor is there any rust. Likewise, there is no threat of thieves to steal (Matthew 6:19). The streets of gold will never lose their luster and the foundation of precious stones will never accumulate dust. I will never shed a tear of sorrow, or be in want of food or water. Far from it.

The first sight my eyes beheld was the face of Jesus, and His scarred hands were the first to hold me. I am experiencing perfect love in a perfect home. A place prepared especially for me. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to experience it.

Perhaps some day my siblings will use the nursery. In time the stuffed animals will become old and soiled. The swing set will eventually wear out. Likewise, the records and the books will succumb to age and wear. Such is the fate of the things of earth. They can only last so long because of the presence of sin. Not so in Heaven.

I can’t wait until you join me here. When you do I am going to return the favor you bestowed upon me. I am going to love on you and show you off just as every child dreams of. Only here, we will never be separated again. In Heaven, reality exceeds our best hopes and dreams.

Until then, just remember that I love you with a love beyond your comprehension. A love untainted by sin. A love more like the love of Jesus that you introduced me to as best as you could with the time we had.

With eternal love,

Isaiah

P.S. Jesus wanted me to share these reminders with you.

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. – 1 Corinthians 13:13

2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. – Colossians 3:2

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” – Revelation 21:5

Only Believe

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3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 5 For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. – 2 Corinthians 1:3-5

Palm Sunday

Last Sunday, March 28th 2021, the Christian faith recognized Palm Sunday, the day Jesus made His triumphal entry into Jerusalem. With much fanfare, Jesus entered the great city riding a colt as the crowd adorned His path with their cloaks and palm branches while crying out,

“Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!”

Who besides the members of the Holy Trinity could know how quickly things would change during the upcoming Holy Week? What would begin with Jesus riding into Jerusalem on the back of a borrowed colt to shouts of acclamation, would soon transpire to witnessing Jesus carrying our cross on his bloody and beaten body out of Jerusalem to shouts of derision and tears of defeat. His exit from Jerusalem couldn’t have been a greater contrast to His entry.

But Jesus wasn’t finished.

Graveside Visit

Palm Sunday is a day of anticipation. We know it precedes Easter Sunday by one week, but what a difficult week it is that separates them. The Temple must be cleansed by Jesus, and then His Temple must be destroyed by the Father. Before the stone can be rolled away, the cup must be drunk to the dregs. Life can be so bittersweet.

As Palm Sunday was coming to a close, my heart told me I had to make a graveside visit. My mind however wasn’t so convinced. It was getting late, it was dark, and it was cold and windy. Despite the arguments, my conscience wasn’t listening. Hence I grabbed my flashlight and my coat and walked to the cemetery next door and then made my trek to the far end.

Turning on my flashlight I shone it on the tombstone I had to see, simply etched:

Brooke Elizabeth Becker

Feb. 19, 2010, March 28, 2010

Daughter of Scott and Becky

Even though nobody else besides me would know it, I felt I had to go to my daughter’s graveside on the eleventh anniversary of her passing. Which also happened to be on a Palm Sunday. The irony wasn’t lost on me. I turned off my flashlight and made my way back home with the wind howling and the darkness enveloping me. On the day we commemorate Christ’s triumphant entry into Jerusalem, I can rejoice in my daughter’s triumphal entry into the presence of Christ.

Yes life can be bittersweet, but our hope is the fact that Christ isn’t finished.

Funeral Crasher

Although the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding, He soon gained a reputation for disrupting funerals. As Luke chapter seven records, Jesus was entering a town called Nain when He came across a funeral procession. With a crowd at His back, Jesus paused for the procession and the large crowd following the widow who was about to bury her only son. With both crowds at a standstill, Jesus spoke three simple words to the grieving mother.

“Do not weep”.

Do not weep? Her husband is dead and now she is about to bury her only son. Who is going to protect her? Who is going to provide for her? What about that void in her heart? Do not weep?

14 Then he came up and touched the bier, and the bearers stood still. And he said, “Young man, I say to you, arise.” 15 And the dead man sat up and began to speak, and Jesus gave him to his mother. – Luke 17:14-15

Christ isn’t finished.

Only Believe

Jairus was a desperate man. As a synagogue ruler he may have been a man of some social status. He was charged with the responsibility of maintaining the synagogue and scheduling it’s services, but as is true of all men, his abilities were limited. Ruling a synagogue doesn’t equip a man to battle death. With his only daughter on the brink of eternity he was faced with one hope. Jesus.

Falling at the feet of Jesus, Jairus implored Him to intercede on behalf of his daughter. What father wants to face the prospect of burying his twelve year old child? Humbled by his utter helplessness, Jairus does the only thing he can; he implores Jesus to come to his home where his daughter is quickly fading.

As Jesus is approaching the home of Jairus the dreaded news is delivered by a messenger. There is no longer any need to bother Jesus, because the girl has died. The news obviously must have stunned Jairus, but Jesus countered the bad news with these comforting words:

“Do not fear; only believe, and she will be well.” – Luke 8:50

Do not fear? A father has just received word that his only daughter is dead! His heart has been pierced by the worst conceivable pain. How can he face his future? Do not fear?

51 And when he came to the house, he allowed no one to enter with him, except Peter and John and James, and the father and mother of the child. 52 And all were weeping and mourning for her, but he said, “Do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping.” 53 And they laughed at him, knowing that she was dead. 54 But taking her by the hand he called, saying, “Child, arise.” 55 And her spirit returned, and she got up at once. And he directed that something should be given her to eat. – John 8:51-55

Christ isn’t finished.

Come Out

Jesus loved the siblings Mary, Martha and Lazarus, but where was He during their hour of greatest need? When the sisters sent word to Jesus that their brother was ill He did not make a bee line to their home. Rather, He stayed two additional days in the place where He was. As Jesus was “stalling”, Mary and Martha were becoming more desperate with each passing hour as Lazarus’ condition worsened. Where is the balm when we need it most?

Finally, when Jesus was ready, He and HIs disciples began their Journey to Bethany and the home of Lazarus. But they were too late. By the time they arrived, Lazarus was dead and had already been in the tomb four days. Rebuked by Martha for being late, and being charged for the responsibility of her brother’s death, Jesus responded:

“I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, 26 and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” – John 11:25-26

Do you believe this? If not Martha, watch this!

38 Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. 39 Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” 41 So they took away the stone. And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. 42 I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.” 43 When he had said these things, he cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out.” 44 The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.” – John 11:38-44

Christ isn’t finished.

Grief upon Grief

Life can be so cruel. Or should I say, death can be so cruel? Yesterday, on the eleventh anniversary of the date we buried our little girl, death struck again. This time it took a Grandson. I feel as if I have been kicked in the stomach and somebody has taken all of the air out of the room. After having been down this path, I hoped against all hope my children would never have to experience the pain of losing a child. But like the widow of Nain, Jairus, Martha and Mary, I am reminded that I am so frail and helpless. Certainly no match for death. But….

Christ isn’t finished.

The grave is not the end. Hence, when Jesus refers to the death of the saints, He likens it to sleep.

11 After saying these things, he said to them, “Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep, but I go to awaken him.” – John 11:11

52 And all were weeping and mourning for her, but he said, “Do not weep, for she is not dead but sleeping.” – Luke 8:52

And Paul writes:

17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. – 1 Corinthian 15:17-18

But Christ has been raised.

Encourage One Another

When I walked out of the cemetery last Sunday night in the teeth of the howling wind, little could I have known what the next couple of days would bring. With the tombstone of my daughter behind me I was looking forward to the future. Anticipating the joy that awaited our family with two babies expected in the next couple of months. I never dreamed I would be burying some of those hopes. But death will not have the final word.

24 But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they went to the tomb, taking the spices they had prepared. 2 And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, 3 but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus. 4 While they were perplexed about this, behold, two men stood by them in dazzling apparel. 5 And as they were frightened and bowed their faces to the ground, the men said to them, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? 6 He is not here, but has risen.  – Luke 24:1-6a

Today we feel like we are stuck in Gethsemane. Wrestling with God that we could be spared the pain, but acquiescing to His will. As I try to come to grips with the pain and the grief, I hear the same words I heard at my daughter’s graveside.

Only believe. Your daughter lives.

13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words. – 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

Christ isn’t finished. It is only because He lives that we have life. For eternity!! In the midst of our grief, we can rejoice that our grandson Isaiah is in the presence of our Savior with our daughter Brooke.

Some day, we too will “fall asleep in Christ” and awake in His presence.

Do you believe Christ is the resurrection and the life?

Praise God for the empty tomb!

Death’s Precious Side

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5 Precious in the sight of the Lord
    is the death of his saints. – Psalm 116:15

Saints

Since the outbreak of Covid-19 in China, the virus has dominated our world. Every day we are inundated with statistics regarding Covid related deaths and new Covid cases. The related pandemic has put the world on hold. As a result, seemingly every aspect of our lives has been impacted. Who knows what things will look like on the other side of Covid?

In the midst of all of the pandemic confusion and hysteria, the Christian community has experienced the “loss” of two of it’s true warriors. On May 19th, 2020, the dynamic Christian apologist and author, Ravi Zacharias, went home to be with his Savior. Just two months after being diagnosed with a rare cancer in his spine, he succumbed to death at the age of 74. His rare combination of intelligence and humility will be greatly missed.

Roughly two months after the death of Ravi, God decided to call home another Christian “giant”, J.I. Packer. Just five days shy of his 94th birthday, J.I. Packer died on July 17th, 2020 from natural causes. During his long and accomplished career, J.I. Packer was a prominent theologian and author. His book Knowing God, would be deemed by most evangelicals as a Christian classic. When asked what his final words to the church might be, Packer’s reply was simple, “Glorify Christ every way”.

Perspective

As I watch the worldwide fear of the current pandemic and listen to all of the discussion about death, it is hard not to contemplate (and contrast) the worldly view of death and the Biblical. As I wrote in one of my recent blogs, (http://helpmewithmyunbelief.com/2020/06/30/deaths-appointment/) death is inevitable. As we are told in Hebrews 9:27, it is appointed unto man to die. While the fact that death is in our future may seem morbid, today’s passage will perhaps help to “smooth” the rough edges. While saints aren’t immune from death, their deaths are precious in God’s sight.

While I was saddened by the death of two of my spiritual “heroes”, the Bible assures me that the vantage point from Heaven was different. How? As 1 Samuel 16:7 reminds us, “For the Lord sees not as man sees…”. Whereas man judges by appearance, God judges by reality. While we see partially, He sees completely. As one writer has said, “He traces the duration of His people, not upon the map of time, but upon the infinite scale of eternity”.

Perhaps we are saddened by death because this world is “all we know”. Likewise, our fear of death may be caused by our fear of the unknown or the fear of “being alone”. If God says our death will be precious in His sight, we have to believe the joy that awaits will far exceed the “thrills” of this world. Likewise, we have to believe that the fellowship that awaits us on the other side of death is infinitely better than our earthly relationships.

Delivered

After the deaths of Ravi Zacharias and J.I. Packer, I learned that Pastor Timothy Keller is facing his second bout with cancer. Immediately, I was saddened with the prospect of “losing” another faithful man of God whom I greatly respect and admire. But isn’t that fear selfish?

If the death of the saints are precious in God’s sight, certainly part of the reason is because on the other side of the river of death, the saints are protected from the evils of the world. Out of the reach of sins long arm, they will never again experience sorrows or suffering. Trials and tribulations will be a thing of the past. Tears will be no more, and the sting of death will never be experienced.

In Heaven, God’s saints will never again be subjected to the burdens of the flesh. We will never again hear of such things as depression, stress, loneliness, addictions, etc. We won’t have to toil and be anxious for food and clothing. Ransomed by the blood of Christ, we will spend eternity in His presence. Forever delivered from the evils of this fallen world.

Completion

6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6

That is the passage engraved on the tombstone of my mother-in-law, and I am sure many others. And it points us to another reason the death of God’s saints is precious in His sight. At death, the efficacious work of the Holy Spirit is coming to fruition. At salvation, we were given the Holy Spirit as a down payment (Eph. 1:14) on our Heavenly inheritance; at death, He ushers our souls into the presence of God (where they will await glorified bodies).

At death, the “not yet” aspect of our salvation will become reality as justification and sanctification will finally “give way” to glorification. Faith will become sight! No longer will we see dimly. Our great hope is to see our Savior, and to be like Him (1 John 3:2). But it is a reality that awaits us on the other side of death.

From beginning to end, every aspect of our salvation is due to the grace of God. The glorification that awaits us on the other side of death is often referred to as future or final grace. Perhaps if we better understood the grace of God, we would have a different perspective of death. God has called us out, and He will faithfully bring us Home.

Communion

26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together. – 1 Corinthians 12:26

As Christians, we may not grieve as others do who have no hope (1 Thes. 4:13), but we do grieve. And how precious must the outpouring of Christian sympathies be before Heaven’s audience. What kind of fragrance are the prayers of the saints on behalf of the suffering before Heaven’s throne? What kind of witness is the love of Christ manifested by His children before a lost world?

I think Charles Dickens, in his book The Old Curiosity Shop, when writing about the death of the book’s young heroine illustrates well this truth:

“Oh: it is hard to take to heart the lesson that such deaths will teach, but let no man reject it, for it is one that all must learn, and is a mighty universal Truth. When death strikes down the innocent and the young, for every fragile form from which He lets the panting spirit free, a hundred virtues rise, in shapes of mercy, charity, and love, to walk the world, and bless it. Of every tear that sorrowing mortals shed on such green graves, some good is born, some gentler nature comes. In the Destroyer’s steps there spring up bright creations that defy his power, and his dark path becomes a way of light to Heaven.”

Death has a way of putting things into perspective unlike perhaps anything else. It can cause us to set aside our pride and selfishness and minister to the grieving. As we remind one another of the truth that the grave is not the end (1 Thes. 4:13-18), we can turn mourning into joy. We can look death in the face and lift our praises to God, knowing the victory belongs to Christ. What a testimony the death of God’s saints can be if we have a Heavenly perspective!

No Going Back

Again, in his book, The Old Curiosity Shop, Charles Dickens wrote this:

“It is not on earth that Heaven’s justice ends. Think what earth is, compared with the world to which her young spirit has winged it’s early flight; and say, if one deliberate wish expressed in solemn terms above this bed could call her back to life, which of us would utter it?”

At the death of his infant, King David made this famous statement, “Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he will not return to me” ( 2 Samuel 12:23). No, we can’t bring our loved ones back. And if they belonged to God, we shouldn’t wish to. Like David, we need to keep our focus on what awaits us on the other side of death. We will be in the presence of our Savior and fellowshipping with saints throughout history.

Ravi Zacharias and J.I. Packer are now in the presence of their Savior, and some day we will join them. It is appointed unto man to die once, but death is not a thing to fear. It is precious in God’s sight, and if we had His perspective, it would be in ours as well.

Death’s Appointment

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27 And just as it is appointed for man to die once, and after that comes judgment – Hebrews 9:27

Introduction

I remember as a young boy of six years of age playing with my cousin Mark, who was one year younger than I. We were out in the yard of his family’s farm in the shadow of the milk parlor and barn playing as carefree as two young boys could. And should.

After so many years, a lot of the details escape me, but I do remember being impressed by how quiet my cousin was and the gentle soul that he had. At an age that a lot of children are animated and seeking attention (often referred to as hyper and obnoxious), Mark was almost “angelic” in demeanor.

I am sure that my memory of my little cousin is biased because of the tragedy that was soon to follow our last play time together. But I can’t separate reality from bias at this point, I can only relate impressions etched forever on my mind.

When Mark did not show up for dinner one evening, his concerned parents and elder siblings made a search for him. From what I understand, it was his oldest brother who found him above the milk parlor. Mark was dead, the result of an accident. His gentle little frame forever stilled. His death forever casting a shadow on our souls.

Because he died so young, I don’t have a lot of memories of my cousin, but looking back, I believe it was he who first “introduced” me to death. It was an introduction I wish had been prolonged. Indefinitely!

Appointment

I still remember the night that my uncle called to tell us of Mark’s death. How does a father make such a phone call? Torn with sorrow, his voice often failed him as he shared what details he could of the tragedy. I did not fully comprehend what was happening at first, but I knew it must be something bad as the air was so heavy with sorrow and tears were freely flowing.

Later, as my mother was on the phone trying to console her elder sister in her time of loss, my father tried to explain to me the reality of death. Mark was gone and he wasn’t coming back. Ever.

Death is so personal. Death is so permanent.

As he sat beside me on the couch trying to make death “understandable”, I am sure my father was battling his own emotions and shock. As he struggled to find the appropriate words, I coped the best I could; I drew a picture of Mark and I playing in the yard. Just as two boys should. Just as we never would again.

What I tried to ignore as a young boy has become all too real over the years. Death is always near, and some day it is going to claim every one of us. Mark’s death may have come at a young age, but young or old, we all have an appointment with it.

Man

When we went to the Funeral Home to pay our respects to my “angelic” little cousin, I found that he was not “alone”. Sadly, death had been working overtime. As I walked up the steps and entered the viewing room(s) there were two caskets instead of one. Against the North wall was the casket of Mark, and around the corner against the East wall was the casket for the deceased wife of one of my Father’s best friends.

Needless to say, death can be overwhelming. As we pulled “double duty” consoling not one, but two families, death’s sting felt very painful. There laid little Mark, dead before he had a chance at life, and there laid Donna, her life taken by her own hands because she didn’t want to face the life ahead of her.

Regardless of “how” and “when”, death is the fate of mankind, whether a young boy or a middle aged woman. When the Bible tells us that it is appointed for man to die once, you can put your name in that statement.

The man who refuses to face the fact of his own death, is a fool! – Martyn Lloyd-Jones

Once

I recall my first days of school as a First grader, but not for the usual reasons. I wasn’t particularly fond of school, I was too shy, so the new teacher and the new classmates were more intimidating than exciting to me. Rather, the reason I remember those days is because Mark was just beginning kindergarten. Classes began on Tuesday, August 31, 1971, and Mark’s tragedy happened just two days later.

On Monday, September 6, 1971 Mark’s classmates were at school reciting the alphabet and doing basic math. They would have their break and enjoy their milk. They would probably also enjoy a suspenseful game of Heads Down, Thumbs Up. And while his classmates were participating in their lessons and games, Mark’s little body was being laid to rest. His little seat at the classroom table was empty.

As we were trying to process Mark’s death, his brother Darryl, one year my senior (a big second grader) and I walked down to the kindergarten classroom during recess and peered through the window. With our curious faces pressed against the glass we looked for Mark’s seat. I’m not sure how we expected to find it but I suppose we were just looking for a sense of closure. Was he really gone?

For the next 13 years an empty desk would remind us he was. Three days in his seat was all Mark had. He would never again walk the halls or for that matter even get a chance to know his classmates. For two young boys standing on the outside looking in, there was something very sobering about the mystery of it all. To keep things in perspective however, Darrel did inform me as we walked back to our different classrooms, that his parents let him keep Mark’s milk money that was set aside for the week. I’m not so sure it lessened the pain however.

One chance is all we have on this earth. We won’t be reincarnated, and our money can’t buy us additional time. The fact that “we only die once” shouldn’t be motivation to live recklessly and foolishly, but should make us sober and wise stewards of the time we have.

After

It has been a long time since Mark “introduced” me to death. Death has become even more personal since then. A decade ago, it “stole”our last child. This time, it was my uncle’s turn to be on the consoling side of the Funeral Home visitation. As he turned away from our baby’s casket, my uncle was overcome with sorrow. And why not? Death has now taken two of his children.

It is inevitable that my uncle reflected on his own loss(es) as he saw Brooke’s little casket. As he turned to walk away, perhaps in fear of making an unwanted scene, I quickly grabbed my uncle and assured him that we were okay. With tears in his eyes, and his voice broken perhaps like it was on that tragic night so many years ago, he could only mutter, “It only gets harder with time”.

While I am better acquainted with death and the fact that the grieving process is a never ending one, I am also more confident that death is not the end. Quite to the contrary, it is the “after” that the writer of Hebrews refers to that is eternal. While death may be personal, I have come to learn that it is not permanent. Which is why Christ could refer to it as sleep (John 11:11).

Judgement

It is intriguing to me that although death awaits all of us, we try to ignore it and live as though we are immune to it. If the Bible teaches us anything, it is the fact that we are eternal beings. Accordingly, death is not the end of the road, it is only a passageway to our eternal destiny.

The judgement that awaits us on the other side of death is not based on what we “do” on earth, but rather on where we put our faith. Despite my flawed memory, I realize that my little cousin was not perfect. But the Babe in the Manger was.

Christ came to earth as a baby and then lived a perfect life fulfilling the Laws. On the cross he died for us and took the punishment for our sins. If we repent of our sins and put our faith in the work of Jesus we will not be judged (condemned) on the other side of death because Jesus has taken our judgement for us.

18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only Son of God. – John 3:18

Offering

One of my favorite things about verse 27 of Hebrews chapter nine is the verse that follows it!!

28 so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.

While we may not be able to avoid our appointment with death, we can avoid judgement and an eternity in Hell thanks to Jesus, who willingly kept his “appointment” with death. Christ has been offered to bear our sins. For those of us that are “eagerly waiting for him” (have placed our faith in Christ alone), “salvation” is our eternal destiny.

The “offering” definitely keeps the “appointment” in perspective.

It has been nearly 50 years since Mark’s death. He is in a place where there are no empty seats and no sorrows. He is immune from sickness and unfamiliar with tears. The daily struggles we face because of sin are foreign to him. The same can’t be said for his father who is now nearly 90 years old and time worn.

I am convinced that if my uncle could see his son today, his little boy would correct him in his gentle spirit. In Christ, it only gets better “after” time.

Behold Your Mother

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26 When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” 27 Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. – John 19:26-27

Giggles & Goosebumps

I remember playing hide and seek as a young boy.  Stealthily sneaking into a closet.  Silently sliding the clothes on the bar.  Softly positioning my small frame in the corner and sliding the clothes back into position.  Holding my breath to listen for, “ready or not, here I come.”

And then I would giggle.  I recognize that laughter spells “doom” when you are hiding but I couldn’t help it.  I had a good hiding spot and I knew it.  Certainly I wouldn’t be found for hours.  Maybe even days!!  And then I would be smitten by the giggle bug.  I might as well have tried hiding with an elephant and a foghorn!

For a young child to stop such giggles is a little like trying to stop the hiccups.  Not wanting to prematurely sacrifice my hiding spot I knew I had to put an end to my giggling.  Pronto.  I figured the best way to do so was to try to think of something sad.  I knew I had to trick my mind with sober thoughts.  But what?

What was the saddest thing I could think of?  Death.  I wasn’t trying to be morbid but as my mind ran through the gamut of sad thoughts, the worst I could think of was the death of my mother.  As the thought crossed my mind my giggles gave way to goosebumps.

Worst Fears & Reality

Sadly, my worst childhood fear has now become realty.  Last night my mother succumbed to cancer.  Death has made another un-welcomed visit, leaving his cruel calling cards; numbed minds, heavy hearts and lots of questions about the future.  How do we pick up the pieces?  And once we pick them up, where do we place them?

As much as we would like to, we can’t turn back the clock.  We can never recover or relive yesterday.  There will be no more hugs or “I love yous” with mom.  Crawling in a closet and covering myself with clothing isn’t going to hide reality.  Mom is gone.

For the time being I can’t trick my mind.  I can’t turn these goosebumps into giggles.  At a time like this there is only one thing to do: turn to Truth..  I can’t bring back my mother, but I can turn to my Heavenly Father.  I can open my Bible and see what I can learn from Jesus.

Cross Eyes

As Jesus hung on the cross, He was badly beaten.  Isaiah tells us, “his appearance was so marred, beyond human semblance, and his form beyond that of the children of mankind” (Isaiah 52:14).  His back was torn open from the scourging.  His brow was bloody as He bore the crown of thorns.  His face was black and blue from being slapped and mistreated.  His heart was heavy as He bore the weight of our sins on his shoulders.  But the cup would become more bitter.

Despite His present physical condition, Jesus knew the worst was yet to come.  The sun would be darkened and the Father would have to look away.  God’s eyes are too pure to look at sin.  Jesus had never experienced a separation from His Father’s gaze.

As Jesus braced Himself for the turning away of the Father’s gaze, His eyes would turn to His mother.  Before He showed us the ultimate sacrifice as our Savior, He showed us the tender love of a son for His mother.

Behold Your Mother!

Despite the fact that His body was beaten and “broken” and the stench of death, His death, was in the air, Jesus’ heart was still swollen with love.  With all eyes on Jesus, He made sure His mother was taken care of after His death.

Although most of His disciples abandoned Him, John did not.  As Jesus looked at His mother He entrusted her future care to the “disciple whom He loved.” “Behold, your mother!”

Jesus would have grown up hearing the rumors.  His young mother was pregnant before she was married.  But Jesus and Mary knew the truth.  Jesus’ birth was no ordinary birth.  Jesus was no ordinary son.  Jesus’ love is unlike any other.  And Mary had the privilege of seeing it lived out on a daily basis.  But no more.  Death would sever the bond.  For a time.

Jesus and Mary

The love between a mother and her child is a special thing.  A mother’s sensitivity and ability to nurture is a very special gift from God.  Children intuitively know this, making separation difficult.  At any age.

I don’t know what an average day in the home of Joseph and Mary would have looked like.  If Jesus grew up in our house He would have had a nickname.  At least one.  Perhaps Joseph and Mary didn’t take the liberty considering the fact that Jesus’ name was Heaven ordained!

Nickname or not, I am confident that the bond between Jesus and Mary was a very special one, where love was spoken not just in words but in actions.  When Jesus would fall, Mary would pick Him up.  When Jesus was sad, Mary would comfort Him.  When Jesus was hungry, Mary would feed Him.  But these are just the obvious things.

In addition to the obvious, I believe a key part of what makes the love of a mother so unique is the intuitive aspect.  What we refer to as maternal instinct.  Mothers know when their children are struggling even though there are no evident signs to others.  A mother has a unique connection with her children.  They can read things in their children that no one else can.  But more importantly, they can meet the needs of their children that nobody else can.

It is no wonder Mary’s heart was pierced as her Son’s broken body was hanging on a cruel Roman cross.  If any human could “feel” Jesus’ pain, it was Mary.  Which makes Jesus’ care for her from the cross so special.  If only we could grasp the significance of the words John recorded about Jesus and His disciples, “when Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end” (John 13:1).  The love of Jesus is not restricted by time, nor can it be quantified.

Desiring Love

As my mother was battling cancer, she had her share of highs and lows.  After the initial shock of the diagnosis, there were a few glimmers of hope as she had some positive responses to treatments.  As you might expect, this drawn out battle left her physically and emotionally drained.

As my mother was going through one of her difficult times, my sister was asking her some probing questions.  They discussed such things as my mother’s greatest fears and greatest needs.  In a moment of brokenness and vulnerability my mother simply stated, “I just want to be loved”.

Whether we are broken by cancer or not, isn’t that the heart cry of every human?

Love & Life

As the earthly life of Jesus was coming to an end, He looked out through His swollen eyes and beholding his heartbroken mother made sure that she would be taken care of.  With His lifeblood ebbing out of Him He made sure Mary would be loved and comforted in His absence.

As the earthly life of my mother was coming to an end, she became more afraid of darkness and being left alone.  Her mother’s heart did not want to be separated from her loved ones.

When my mother passed, all eight of her children were at her bedside.  As we cried and grieved, we assured her we loved her.  But despite our presence and our love, we were no match for death.  But Jesus is.

The love that motivated Jesus to provide for Mary’s temporal needs, sent Him to the cross for our spiritual needs.  Because Jesus died for our sins we no longer have to fear death (Heb. 2:14) as unwelcome as it my be.  Because of the love of Jesus, we can have eternal life.

If our loved ones die in the faith, our separation is only temporary.  It doesn’t remove the grief, it just covers it with hope (1 Thes. 4:13).

It has been less than 24 hours since my mother’s death.  The emotions are still raw.  Forgive me if this seems incoherent, but I just want to express my thankfulness for my Savior, who is light in darkness, who will never leave us or forsake us, who loves us with a perfect love and has conquered death so that our goodbyes don’t need to be forever.

Someday, I hope to “behold” my mother again.

Jesus Help Us

As we stood around the bed of my deceased mother last night, there were a lot of tears and very few words.  My fourteen year old son Caleb with Down Syndrome did not appear to grasp the magnitude of the moment.  As I scanned the room his were the only eyes without tears.  But then I realized that perhaps he had the best “comprehension” of the moment and the greatest faith.

In the midst of the grief Caleb said just three words, “Jesus help us”.

So He has.  So He will.

4 He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” – Revelation 21:4